The Father Wound, Abandonment & Why We Struggle in Love and Money
There’s a kind of ache that doesn’t always have a name—but it shapes our relationships, our self-worth, and even how safe we feel in the world.
It’s called the father wound.
If you were close to your father and then he left—especially if it was connected to rejection or betrayal—it can create a deep tear in your sense of safety. Even if the breakup wasn’t your fault, you may have felt like love just left the room. And when the parent who stayed (like your mother) didn’t protect you, chose someone else, or made you feel invisible—that adds another layer of heartbreak.
What Is the Father Wound?
The father wound is a deep emotional pain tied to feeling abandoned, unprotected, or unseen by your father.
It shows up in ways that don’t always make sense on the surface:
You might chase love that feels just out of reach.
You may be drawn to emotionally unavailable people.
You could feel unworthy, anxious, or terrified of being left—so you give too much, stay too long, or try to “earn” love.
If love felt like something you had to work hard for, or something that could vanish at any moment… it’s no wonder relationships feel confusing or painful now.
When Your Needs Weren’t Met at Home
If your mother put her boyfriend first, if you felt unsafe, ignored, or emotionally abandoned—it wires your nervous system to stay in survival mode.
It teaches you:
"My feelings don’t matter."
"No one is going to protect me."
"I have to take care of myself, or I won’t survive."
You might’ve grown up fast, but not feeling safe or wanted lives on in your body long after childhood ends.
Why Finances Might Feel So Difficult
Here’s something not everyone connects:
If your early life felt unsafe or unstable, money can carry the same emotional weight.
You might…
Avoid looking at finances because it triggers shame or fear.
Believe there’s “never enough” no matter how hard you try.
Feel unworthy of ease, success, or having your needs fully met.
Subconsciously, you may feel like you have to “do it all on your own”—because no one was there to help you back then.
It’s not just a mindset issue—it’s a trauma pattern.
You’re Not Broken—You’re Carrying Old Pain
The choices you’ve made in love or money aren’t because you’re damaged. They’re coming from deeply wired survival patterns.
Patterns that protected you once… but are hurting you now.
The good news? These patterns can change.
You can learn how to feel safe in your body.
You can reconnect with the parts of you that were abandoned.
You can begin to believe you are worthy of love that stays, and money that supports you.
